A life of desperation and anguish,
I'm afraid.
Your addiction will start off slowly,
magazines, Internet sites.
But then as you keep chasing your high,
your tastes will get more and more dangerous.
Most likely you'll end up going the way of David Carradine and Michael Hutchence.
Autoerotic asphyxiation.
Autoerotic asphyxiation?
What's that?
I don't want to go
into too much detail, but...
you choke yourself with a belt around your neck,
while masturbating,
dressed up like Batman or something.
Then you pass out from lack of air,
and apparently, it makes
your orgasm super awesome.
Really?
Oh no.
I don't wanna have to
buy a batman costume!
Ladies and gentlemen,
for the past several days
We have been screening our nation's
schools for signs of sex addition.
The results of our tests are
troubling to say the least.
Doctor tonton?
In fourth graders, 5% of male
students were found to be sex addicts.
By sixth grade,
the number goes up to 30%!
At high schools, nearly 91% of male
students answered 'what handkerchief?'
We are facing a sex addiction
epidemic in our country.
Young people all over
america are infected
And at an extreme risk to themselves
and to the people around them.
They're leading lives of secret pain.
And so, these infected boys will soon be secretly wishing
they could be having sex all the time with lots of different people?
It appears so.
The poor bastards.
But what about us,
normal healthy adults?
Are we at risk of exposure?
We don't believe so.
In adult males,
for whatever reason,
Sex addiction only seems to be problematic
amongst rich, successful celebrities.
However, we are still
collecting data.
Why would wealth or success
cause a man to go out
And have sex with
everyone he could?